Redefining Success: Re-balancing energy with family and friends

Gori Bhullar, Law and Business ’13, is a seasoned management consultant with a specialization in understanding human behaviour in the workplace. She has spearheaded transformative people and culture initiatives for several organizations. Currently, Gori works in the financial services industry in Toronto, Canada, where she leads strategic people & culture efforts for more than 60,000 employees across North America. Her commitment to fostering talent is her hallmark, making her a standout figure in her field. Stay tuned for her insights in this series.

Isn’t it fascinating to observe how the post-pandemic world has shaped us? Some emerged seemingly unaffected, while the rest of us found ourselves in a state of confusion, uncertain about where to invest our energy, especially in our interactions with others. If you’re feeling any form of text fatigue, social pressure or a lack of interest in engaging with others, this piece is crafted with you in mind.

Let’s begin by unravelling the energy continuum. On one end lies our innate human longing for belonging and community — a realm where interactions leave us feeling comforted, enthusiastic and fully engaged. It’s the space where interactions energize us. On the other end, where many ﬁnd themselves unintentionally, is a lack of motivation to engage with others or a disconnection with the interactions we’re having. We might convince ourselves that these interactions demand too much energy, energy we feel we don’t have. However, the goal isn’t to remain at either end of the spectrum; it’s to move between them in a healthy way. The reality is, not every interaction will energize or drain us, and being deliberate about where we invest our energy is crucial.

This journey of reﬂection often begins by zooming out. So, let’s begin by considering whether this dimension, the realm of human-to-human connections, is a top priority for you at this moment. If it’s not, that’s perfectly okay, because not every dimension can or should be a priority. To aid in this reﬂection, here are some questions and actionable items to consider:

Who matters most to you right now?
Reﬂect on your family, friends and acquaintances you wish to invest your time and energy in. Consider those who hold importance due to your current circumstances and life stage.
When do you spend your time nurturing these relationships?
Quality often matters more than quantity, but some relationships necessitate both. Identify the right balance for each and be mindful of when quantity may diminish quality.
How should you engage with these individuals?
Think about the type of engagement you seek from each relationship and how best to achieve it. This is particularly important when setting boundaries with family, children, pets or colleagues.
Why are you investing in these relationships?
Examine your motivations. Are you investing due to societal expectations, cultural norms or genuine desire? Align your investments with your authentic desires.

After reﬂecting, it’s time for action. Here are ﬁve tips to manage your energy when it comes to family and friends, allowing you to invest it where it matters most, especially in this season of your life:

Deﬁne quality time: Determine what quality time means to you, whether it’s deep conversations, collaborative tasks or new experiences.
Identify those requiring more time: Recognize relationships that demand higher quantities of your time — young children, your partner or important connections in the workplace.
Spot relationship gaps: Identify gaps in your relationships where you’d like to foster deeper connections or build new ones.
Evaluate relationships that no longer serve you: Consider relationships that no longer beneﬁt you but instead drain your energy. Consider reducing your interactions with these individuals by setting new boundaries.
Balance your energy exchange: Find a better equilibrium between relationships that require your energy and those from which you draw energy. Focusing on a few meaningful connections is often more fulﬁlling than spreading your energy thinly.

You might be wondering how all of this relates to improving your career. It’s essential to view our lives holistically, ensuring that we invest our energy wisely, with the right people, and at the right times. Each day, our energy is limited, and dedicating it to areas that don’t serve us may detract from where we genuinely want to invest it. This could very well include your work, but remember: you can’t consider making shifts in one area without considering the impact on the others.

Challenge: This week’s challenge may sound simple in theory but can be challenging to execute. Identify a relationship that no longer serves you, one that drains your energy. Respectfully exit this relationship to free up more capacity to invest in connections that truly matter to you.Stay tuned for next week’s post, where we’ll dive deeper into the art of setting boundaries and cultivating habits that elevate us as individuals, both within and beyond the workplace. Our next dimension will revolve around Well-being.

Gori Bhullar, Law and Business ’13, is a seasoned Management Consultant with a specialization in understanding Human Behavior in the workplace. She has spearheaded transformative People & Culture initiatives for several organizations. Currently, Gori works in the Financial Services industry in Toronto, Canada, where she leads strategic People & Culture efforts for over 60,000 employees across North America. Her commitment to fostering talent is her hallmark, making her a standout figure in her field. Stay tuned for her insights in this series.

Read other posts from the Re-defining Success series: